The struggle within

You can blame it on everything, literally. Your situation, your spouse, kids, parents, friends, colleagues, job situation, expectations, responsibilities, the decisions you make and/or the ambience around you. The list can go on. Add anything and everything you may want to. Its still not going to solve any of your problems. You know why? I will tell you. It is because you are not at peace with yourself. You have to be at peace with yourself. As long as you are in the tension of opposites, surprising, the opposite being the same; you & your self, you will never attain peace. It is not the tension without that makes a person fall. It is the tension within. So how do you get rid of the tension between you & your self. One will have to lose. Both cant win. You will have to let go one. The next question, which one do you let go? A little primer before we come to that answer.

There is always a struggle between being and becoming - to be and to become. Phew, I am getting really cryptic, but hey, I am a man of words. I love words. Orrite, orrite we will come back to me some day later. The reason for tension, feel free to take the word literally, is because somewhere there are opposites. Somewhere out there, there is duality. And where there is duality, the play of plurals, you shall always have tension. Look deep down, observe and you will find that there always has been an entity living in you. Ever since you were born, ever since you were 3 years old, 5 years, 10, 12, 15, 18, 23 and 30. But not always did this poor thing had its way. It was shaped, sculpted, conditioned, morphed, garbed by several forces at these respective points which were seemingly beyond your control. And while this little entity showed itself in moments of spontaniety, there was this other form taking shape along with it, covering it, over it. Years passed and you grew so used to this newly found form that you started identifying with it. But that little entity that was born with you and had always been there all along never rested, however suppressed it was. It always fought for its survival. It always struggled and is still struggling, and it will struggle forever. You may try to ignore it and live with the conditioned entity as you have now gotten used to it pretty well. But the one which was born with you will always give its fight. Why? Because it owns the house. You were born with it. It will wait for its moment and surprise you in the most unexpected moment - surprise you for good or bad, thats your fortune, but live and express it must. You may put a lid on it, dump it, do whatever you may want to do with it. It may seem silent for a while or for a long time, but sooner than later, it will make its presence feel. Remember, it is the owner of the house, it is what they call your inner voice.

The entity that was born with you, in fact that is what you intrisincally are, is the state of being. On the other hand, the form that you now assume, that was carved by time, circumstances, ambience, people and so on, is what you have become. Now that, is what I mean by the struggle between to be and to become. And if you want to end the struggle, you will have to end up accepting the true owner of the house. The moment you accept whole-heartedly the true owner of the house, you will find peace with yourself.